why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just invented taco cereal.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
