I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
