so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
