mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
