I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
