can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
