I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
