I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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