Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
