Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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