I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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