Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
