He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
soo... how was my night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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