what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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