I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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