I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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