I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
