I seem to have left my pride at pride
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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