I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
