I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize