Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
