The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
