She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
