yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
