I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
