dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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