He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
