its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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