New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of course I have a pirate flag
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
