Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
