Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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