what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
