you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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