i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
