There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize