Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've blown a few things in my day
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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