i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
