We won't sleep together?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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