They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I skipped work to stalk him.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
