No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
