Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
