did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
