My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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