meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
