just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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