So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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