who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
