she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What a fucking waste of an outfit
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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