she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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