I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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