and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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