Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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