So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
