In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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