Small penises have feelings too.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
