I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize