I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
