did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
